Dealing With Anger and Children **part one** 0

[أم بدر الدين]

[There are many things that make children angry
Dealing with angry children is the most difficult part of a parent's job. It stirs feelings ranging from exhaustion to nerve wracking aggravation. Often parents and children get locked into a contest of wills, and the parent wins with a "Because I Said So" argument. Afterward, they doubt themselves as parents and feel guilty, ashamed, and inept. Many of us were taught as children that we were not allowed to be angry, that being angry was bad, or that it was our fault if we were angry. These kinds of mistaken beliefs from our own childhood make it more difficult for us to handle anger in children.
the first step toward better management of children's anger is to set aside what we were taught, and instead teach something new. Teach children that anger is normal, that it is ok to get angry. the task then becomes how to manage anger and channel it toward productive or at least acceptable outlets.
Parents and teachers must remember that just as there are many things in our adult lives that make us angry (i.e., being cut off in traffic, losing something important, or being frustrated by our computers). Becoming angry at these types of events is normal. Likewise, there are many things in children's lives that make them angry, and their reactions are normal. Adults must allow children to feel all of their feelings, and model acceptable ways to manage them.

Children respond with anger because they feel helpless

To understand why a child becomes more angry than other children takes some time and effort. What triggered the outburst? the thing to realize is that our anger is generally a reaction to frustration. In children, however, anger appears to be a more generic emotion. It can be triggered by embarrassment, loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and hurt. Children often respond with anger to these types of situations because they feel helpless to understand the situation fully and helpless to change it. In a way, their anger is a response to frustration as well. Copied from the web.
A child that is especially defiant may be behaving this way to counteract dependency and fears of loss. A child who feels hurt by a loss may become angry as a way to avoid feeling sad and powerless. Sometimes a child's anger prompts an adult to set rules more clearly, explain matters more thoroughly, or make changes in the child's environment. In other words, a child may have learned that anger is an all-purpose red flag to let others know that something is very wrong.