I Can't get over my mother's death..

[romina_auxanne]

hi sadinne
i was moved to tears when reading all you've been through may allah bless your mother
in fact i lived in your state even though it is not as painful as yours
i experiance this state of denial after my uncle passed away , at that moment i couldn't believe his death, i cried only when i was alone , didn't go to his funeral and didn't tell any of my friends about his death.i had baccalaureat exam that year, i chose to act like nothing happened. after months i realised that everyone else got over his death except me, i couldn't look at his pictures or talk about him and this lasted for a year ,until one day i found pictures of him, i stared at the first one, cried so much and then i saw all the other pictures. that day i was happy because i faced my fears .after that i felt that the denial was fading away slowly day after day .now, after two years from his death i don't cry when i remember him , i don't avoid going to his house by fear of the memories that come to me .
I came into a conclusion
that ignoring the fact of death is not cowardness , it is your way to stay strong and facing your pain,
you tried your best to live and love life no matter how it is diffcult , you are surely very strong because most of people in your place would not have passed their exam , you are very strong because today you are thankful for what you have despite your big loss , you will soon get rid of this state inchalah by realising how strong you are and were, like i did , just don't lose hope because at worst you can go to a pscychologist who can solve your probleme easily
i hope to read your news soon. kisses