A Story That Would not Let go Me

[اناناسة]

Hi there ! even with the fact that my topics do not gain much replies ...i decided to tell you today about a story of my personal experiences ...you see my story started one year ago ...as a net surffer ... as a girl ... i was looking for fun and enjoyment ... i always found myself happy when downloading videos, songs , games ... but the thing i much enjoyed was the ''Chat'' the word make you imagine its weight .. i know most of you are younger than me therefore i wanted to give you something concrete ...something that if confused helps you take the decision on a solid back ground ...........my story starts when i knew a guy of 26 years old (i need to tell you that my intentions were only to find someone (female/male) ready to hear what i want to say...someone new and different, someone with whom i share my jokes, my stories) so found him so easy handeling, polite, respectfull and a good listener to my non sense ..i must tell you we were so happy but at the same time had some quarrels because of his intentions that do not go beyond the normal ... of course you can imagine a guy talking to a girl ... his understanding grows day by day and his admiration of course ... the point of my story is not to advice you or to say ''hay I am a saint'' no ... i want you to take what you need ... and to leave things that you find useless
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all right now, i know some of you may not like the topic and some of you would like to know the details so please Vote for a YES or a NO ... i respect all of you ... and it does not matter if your votes were against i like honesty

[spy4me]

hi zineb, first of all, never care about others' replies, what's important for you is to make people know what's in your mind.
well, about your story i think it's very normal what happened with you, alot of guys do what that one did, to find a girl to talk to, if you ask me those kind of relationships are not trusty, all we need someone to complain to, all we need someone to share our thoughts and feelings with, i may do that with a girl but i always respect myself and im aware of the red lines that i must not cross, you're a girl, you're a pearl, so don't be easy to be got, and never feel comfortable because of some sweet words, iam a man and i know that girls like those sweet words and that's the weapon of all men, we know that you're hearts are your weaknesses so be careful. for this kind of men these relationships are...i dont know..something funny to spend good time, but for most of girls the matter takes a serious way. so be careful again it's games no more.
so, what i want to say to you is that, despite that i dont know the whole story but i never support such relationships that come through the net, there're many games there, in addition, how can you trust someone you dont know the truth about them, for me, i will never count on the net in building my own life and future and i suppose you understand me.
i vote for "a relationship with red lines" although i know that a relationship between a man and a woman can't never remains as friendship, sooner or later, it evolves to something else and i suppose you know what
thank you for sharing

[english lover]

hi friend thanx for sharing us your own thoughts for me this kind of relationship is not correct at alllll it 'll destroy your life because men are not honest in this things i mean how can you trust some one you dont knwo? by the way your story even it is not completed Remain a lesson for those who dont not know the Consequence of such relationship

[اناناسة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة spy4me

hi zineb, first of all, never care about others' replies, what's important for you is to make people know what's in your mind.
well, about your story i think it's very normal what happened with you, alot of guys do what that one did, to find a girl to talk to, if you ask me those kind of relationships are not trusty, all we need someone to complain to, all we need someone to share our thoughts and feelings with, i may do that with a girl but i always respect myself and im aware of the red lines that i must not cross, you're a girl, you're a pearl, so don't be easy to be got, and never feel comfortable because of some sweet words, iam a man and i know that girls like those sweet words and that's the weapon of all men, we know that you're hearts are your weaknesses so be careful. for this kind of men these relationships are...i dont know..something funny to spend good time, but for most of girls the matter takes a serious way. so be careful again it's games no more.
so, what i want to say to you is that, despite that i dont know the whole story but i never support such relationships that come through the net, there're many games there, in addition, how can you trust someone you dont know the truth about them, for me, i will never count on the net in building my own life and future and i suppose you understand me.
i vote for "a relationship with red lines" although i know that a relationship between a man and a woman can't never remains as friendship, sooner or later, it evolves to something else and i suppose you know what
thank you for sharing

Thanks Spy4you , i must tell you i take each word you said seriously ... i cannot thank you as much as you diserve . thank you brother ..but the story already has an end ... i will carry on narrating it

[اناناسة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة english lover

hi friend thanx for sharing us your own thoughts for me this kind of relationship is not correct at alllll it 'll destroy your life because men are not honest in this things i mean how can you trust some one you dont knwo? by the way your story even it is not completed Remain a lesson for those who dont not know the Consequence of such relationship

thanks dear , what you said is true ... you should carry on checking the topic cause the story is not done yet

[اناناسة]

ok , first , you should know that i finally quit and that i left chat let's say forever ... i know that what i was doing is wrong and i knew it all the time but the way we spoke .. the way we laughed ... the way with him i felt comfortable ... made me think and say ''at that time'' why not ... you should know that i was not that kind of popular people at University that is why i was always neglected and like invisible .... ok we always spoke about me ... and we never crossed the red lines like you said spy4you ... our chat was so simple and innocent ...but it was different with him ... he was thinking or i may say what he wanted me to think that i become a real part of his life ... he always suggested and I always refused stricktly and refused to speak about that ... i must say it is true that i trusted him but at the same time i always kept a strange feeling of doubt that he might be playing me ....... i had not and will never have feelings for him ... i just like I said before found him a good secret friend ... i must say he respected me and never said a word outlines
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it is true we have had friend-ship but lately it turned out to be different from his part ... i am not sure wether it is true or not ..but at least this is what i concluded ... when i found in his jestures some kind of power above me , jalousy , some tricks men excercise on their properties .. i understood that my NO was not understood in the right way ... so i told him directly that i am feeling regret for the feelings he have for me .. and that i cannot be part of his life story ... he could not bare the words i said and translated them as i was just saying this because of the stress i was being to (my studies and my dissertation) i always fought to correct him ... but he was obssessed with the idea that we should stay friends
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the first time we stopped chating was like 3 months i have to admit ........i could not turn the page because of his messeges through the mail ...i returned because his words made me feel guilt
we had 5 or 4 times of not speaking to each other but then always fixed things
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now speaking about now ... i quited it has been two weeks and I keep saying to myself that this time i will really stop torturing myself

[اناناسة]

i was like put between two things to choose ... between his need (he always told me that he needs me) and between satisfying ''allah'' that whenever heard his name i remembered this story ... and whenever things were settled between us i always felt guilt and felt that Allah will punish me severly even though i only spoke to him ... you can imagine ... the sayings i heard from my sisters , the look at my brother's eyes... they were all sticks that hit me strongly ... besides my consious ... what i want to say is i made a mistake and i want you i mean those concerned to stop any involvment in these things ... they cause you addiction and torture and Allah's anger and punishment ...please do not be like me and do not let emptiness change you to the worst ..... please leave things to the right time and please think with your minds and do not listen to your hearts

thank you for reading
sorry if my words were heavy

[spy4me]

hi zineb, i've read your story carefully and could feel really what you felt, i can not deny that it's hard to be in a take it or leave it situation as yours.
i suppose you didn't promise him to be his friend for ever and that allows you the freedom to break up whenever you want, and believe me the idea of being a someone's part of life just through the net is somehow unlogical if i dont say impossible and that leads me to say it's just a lie, i know a lot of people create many accounts in the different chat services (f.a.c.e.b.o.o.k/msn/s.k.y.p.e....) and in each one of those services there are let's say victims, who told you that you were not the next, look, never feel guilty when you do the right things.
you've called it a mistake and i call it experience, never blame yourself, experience exist to make us aware for the future
it's not good to use just the mind instead of the heart, to me, i use both of them; my heart chooses someone while my mind tells me if they're appropriate to me or not
thank you again for sharing
and remember we're always here to help

[اناناسة]

(: thanks Spy4you i appriciate everything you said

[radpeace]

peace on you

sorry I'm late to comment on your experience with the so called "chat love stories".
I first must admit that you have the courage to share us your story and I'm glad you put an end to this kind relationships coz they are not realistic and most of them are for just passing time.
it's always the same story when a man meets a woman in the net, first it begins with just looking for fun and enjoyment, and then goes forward to become attraction and admiration and finally separation. it hurts, doesn't it? what if we add Allah's anger?? since as know,most of such relationships are for wasting time and effort plus deceiving people by telling them a dozens of lies, which go against our islamic background that exalts the value of time and effort and teach us to not spend them in vain and the most important to be honest with people, so I think it better to keep ourselves as far away as we can from involving in that.
Thanks for sharing us your experience and I hope others will benefit and become aware of the hidden negative aspects of such relationships.

[اناناسة]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة radpeace

peace on you

sorry I'm late to comment on your experience with the so called "chat love stories".
I first must admit that you have the courage to share us your story and I'm glad you put an end to this kind relationships coz they are not realistic and most of them are for just passing time.
it's always the same story when a man meets a woman in the net, first it begins with just looking for fun and enjoyment, and then goes forward to become attraction and admiration and finally separation. it hurts, doesn't it? what if we add Allah's anger?? since as know,most of such relationships are for wasting time and effort plus deceiving people by telling them a dozens of lies, which go against our islamic background that exalts the value of time and effort and teach us to not spend them in vain and the most important to be honest with people, so I think it better to keep ourselves as far away as we can from involving in that.
Thanks for sharing us your experience and I hope others will benefit and become aware of the hidden negative aspects of such relationships.

Thanks Brother !

[احسان2]

peace be upon you dears
sis zineb i wanted to share you with my opinion, but I found brothers spy4 me and rad peace had uttered all what I'd like to say , for this I want to add some words
do not related to the past in order not to miss the future
Take a lesson from what has happened and do not be a lesson to those after you a gain
The believer does not bitten by the same snake twice
my god blesses you sister .

[اناناسة]

thanks dear i got you , my intention is to show those who are like me and convince them to stop their addiction