My dead love

حمودة القديدي · 2012-09-19, 23:31

hello every one on this forum

it's my first time that i share what i write ..cuz i was scaring frm showin'em

but yr amzing writings made me be brave to show my writings even they're so bad
'cause i know that the essentiel of showing'em is to make'em so good
i'll not be angry of yr correction , so if u find anything wrong just corect me
..
...

and this is one of my writings
hoping it gets ur admiration
..

..
Let me cry ,let some expressions write
Cuz u've deprived me from my life's light
Since u left me , i'm linving in darknesss like the night
Cuz u've limitted all my chances to fight
Haha..i was thinking that i'm yr dreams knight
..

You told me[that] u loved me nd u ve lied
Yeah, for our love i'd suicide
I can even deat's vehicule ride
I know it' not love it's a game so dont try to hide

So just tell me ,, why u v made our love died

waiting yr points of view about it

Jimmy The Rap Soldie · 2012-09-19, 23:37

اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة حمودة القديدي

hello every one on this forum

it's my first time that i share what i write ..cuz i was scaring frm showin'em

but yr amzing writings made me be brave to show my writings even they're so bad
'cause i know that the essentiel of showing'em is to make'em so good
i'll not be angry of yr correction , so if u find anything wrong just corect me
..
...

and this is one of my writings
hoping it gets ur admiration
..

..
Let me cry ,let some expressions write
Cuz u've deprived me from my life's light
Since u left me , i'm linving in darknesss like the night
Cuz u've limitted all my chances to fight
Haha..i was thinking that i'm yr dreams knight
..

You told me[that] u loved me nd u ve lied
Yeah, for our love i'd suicide
I can even deat's vehicule ride
I know it' not love it's a game so dont try to hide

So just tell me ,, why u v made our love died

waiting yr points of view about it

i'll come reply after reading
^^

Jimmy The Rap Soldie · 2012-09-19, 23:40

اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة حمودة القديدي

hello every one on this forum

it's my first time that i share what i write ..cuz i was scaring frm showin'em

but yr amzing writings made me be brave to show my writings even they're so bad
'cause i know that the essentiel of showing'em is to make'em so good
i'll not be angry of yr correction , so if u find anything wrong just corect me
..
...

and this is one of my writings
hoping it gets ur admiration
..

..
Let me cry ,let some expressions write
Cuz u've deprived me from my life's light
Since u left me , i'm linving in darknesss like the night
Cuz u've limitted all my chances to fight
Haha..i was thinking that i'm yr dreams knight
..

You told me[that] u loved me nd u ve lied
Yeah, for our love i'd suicide
I can even deat's vehicule ride
I know it' not love it's a game so dont try to hide

So just tell me ,, why u v made our love died

waiting yr points of view about it

hiiii bro
h r u
?
wish ya doing fine
....
i'm not a lair
so believe me when i say ur poem is so beautiful
do u know why
?
ok
i'll tell you a secret about writing poems
don't tell any one ok
?
hhhh
just kidding
^^
ok look
it's not about the words you put
it's about the feelings you share
..
and the more feelings are honest and strong the more your poem looked pretty amazing
....
so don't say your poems are not good
i bet you're a better writer than me
^^
so do never give up
and you'll always keep getting better
^^
your bro
jimmy
^^

miss.cool · 2012-09-19, 23:41

yeah i agree with bro jimmy

u can write alot but if there's no feelings there then ur poem shouldnt be as well

and the poem is great

good job bro

keep it up

peace