Death

[.kiki]

Death.

I still haven’t found a harder thing to live through.

It leaves you breathless, unable to absorb reality. It leaves you ill, wounded, exhausted and powerless.

You can’t imagine how one person, who was there... just… won’t be anymore!

The fact that you have memories, especially recent memories, about someone is the worst part. What he used to say, his voice and how he spelled words. How he used to move. How he looked like and all the special details about him.

All just in pictures drawn in your mind… coming back over and over again every time you’re alone. Nothing of it will be seen again in true life.

Death.

Almost unbelievable.

You think about life in a different way. You love it less, and appreciate it more.

And at some moment you’re perfectly aware: what the whole universe is about. For me, that’s the only good part.


Death.

Pure sadness and absolute hurt.


But then… mercy comes down from Heavens… and I remember that it’s Allah’s will. I remember that it’s Him who’s ruling our lives the best way, teaching us lessons in every single happening, testing our faith and reactions. I smile in satisfaction… and cry feeling His one of a kind love.