Why men can't apologise

[Mohamed]

Doesn't it make you feel better when someone gives a heartfelt apology? So much meaning is contained in those two words “I'm sorry”; they're verbal honey. You know they're sorry that they hurt or upset you. They've given it thought. They want you to feel better. These things are important to smooth over the bumps in a relationship.

So why is sorry such a tough word for many men to say? A friend, Tanya, 41, had a typical experience after a row caused by her husband. He was often tardy, and the last straw was him being late for her best friend's 40th birthday party. Tanya was left hanging around in the foyer of the hotel where the party was being held.

Robert dashed in, saying that he'd explain later. He gave Tanya a hug and, seeing that her face was like thunder, whisked her into the private party room. War broke out when they got home. Tanya was incensed that he just couldn't say sorry. Robert explained his delay. But still no apology.When Tanya challenged him about this he gave her a throwaway reply.

Men may know they're wrong about something but often loathe saying they're sorry. They think it's enough to explain what happened, or why they did something. But saying sorry makes them feel a bit pathetic. They see it as a weakness, not a strength.

So try, if you wish, once you've heard his explanation, to get a real apology but it may well lead to a second fight. You'll end up sorry you tried to squeeze that sorry out of him.

Dr Pam Spurr, relationships expert

[أم بدر الدين]

Why is sorry such a hard word for many men to say ?
Even for women it is difficult for them to say it ;they all see it as a weakness or they just imagine that saying this word will cause a big trouble in their own personnality
personnaly my husband has never said it **13 years married** 0
i feel that he wants to say sorry but he has never tried to do it

[economica]

thank you brother for this topic,really it's a good one,but i think i can apologize easily because i believe there's no one in this world perfect and all people must make mistakes,so how can we continue this path if we don't apologize!!!????.
God bless you

[Cheddad]

Well, let’s be realistic rather than idealistic. We all see apologizing as a good practice, however when the time comes when we really need to we will find thousands of reasons for an escape. In case, we don’t find any then we will try to create one(s). In relation to human behavior, I guess It has something to do with the egoism that is built in ourselves and lucky he is the one who can overcome it.

As for you sister Malika, it would be really a great deal for you to bring that word out of your husband’s mouth and it will be more rigid for him to do so when confronted with advices and lectures on “how good it is to say sorry”. Actions speak louder than words. Try to get back to him and say sorry even when he is wrong, sometimes that would melt that ego and enlightens him but don’t hold me responsible for the result

[Mohamed]

Peace be upon you
Thank you all for your comments.
It seems to me that we agree that apologizing is a good practice, but why do men seem to avoid it?
Well, it is argued that men think that nonverbal behaviours are more effective than saying "sorry". Yet, women are not satisfied with that, and feel in need to hear a clear apology! Here we can start another debate: why do women prefer hearing a clear apology? And what kind of apology you think more sincere? You'e welcome

[a new soul]

good evening!
firt of all, in order not to make a big deal between male and female diffrences ,I have to say that we are much more similar than diffrent and definitely complementary.
when its comes to women's fondness of hearing a complete and a clear apology ,in my opinion ,it may be explained by their tendency to eccept the admisson of their faults easily and often enough,by this women expect the same from men i.e, to admit their flaws or their faults too, not to attribute it to sexsim but to the men's nature ,men like to dominate and to show their strengh by speaking and acting so apolozing might seem to tarnish the image of manliness according to them, and this can be the cause of the problem.
For the second part of the question I think that there is not an apology which is more sincere than an other "sorry" is more than enough for me.

[نوووور]

well . each one has many negatives and do many falls and he must appologise even though his small fall
I think that men don t accept to appologize because they fill self- esteem and they consider it as a dispite
But if each one appologise for his wrong work every thing will change to better
thanks for this intersting Subject

[aliallawa]

salam alikom everybody.
well i think it's a good topic that deserves to drop a comment about it. I think it's human nature ,which is made up of many features ; bad and good ,that draws his actions and reactions. One of those features is , i dont say men or women in specific, but i say human's obstination and sharp-mindedness that make him or her hesisate sometimes or even show rejection of apology for most times. In addition , as we all know, there exist a creature called 'satan' who is working so hard to spread hatered and dislike between humans. As a conclusion , I advise myself and all of u to apologise to people whom we hurt whenever we seize the occasion.

Thnx so much for your topic and thnx for all the people who shared this topic with us.