[.kiki]

Peace be upon you all members of the English club

I think all of you have heard of Sheikh mouhamed Alarefe's book "Enjoy Your Life" it's a really really cool book.. and what you're going to read is one of its great topics

enjoy


A hundred ways


to win people’s hearts




Anyone involved in a particular activity wishes to excel in
order to achieve his objectives. The one who loves wealth specialises
in accumulating it and further aspires to learn the tricks
of his trade. Satellite television channels specialise in attracting
viewers by airing a variety of shows using the latest technology.
They also train their presenters in attracting viewers for current
as well as forthcoming programs. The same can be said of
newspapers, radio and television. The same applies to those who
market various products, whether halaal or haraam. All these
people endeavour to specialise in techniques that are needed in
order for them to excel in their respective fields.

Winning hearts is also an art with its own ways and means.
Suppose you enter a gathering of forty men, and as you pass
by each of them, shaking everyone’s hand, the first shakes your
hand indifferently and says very coldly, “Welcome”; the second is
busy speaking to the next person, and as you greet him by surprise,
he responds to you very impersonally and without even
looking at you, then continues with his conversation with the
next person; the third person is speaking on the phone, so he
simply stretches out his hand without saying a word or showing
any respect. However, when you get to the fourth person, he

sees you and immediately stands up to greet you. When your
eyes meet his, he smiles and demonstrates that he is glad to
meet you. He shakes your hand warmly and welcomes you, even
though you don’t know each other at all! You then greet the rest
of the people and take a seat. Do you doubt that your heart will
have the most respect for the fourth person? No doubt it will,
even though you do not know his name, nor his status or profession.
Despite that, he successfully captures your heart, not with
wealth, status, or lineage, but merely by his interpersonal skills.
Hence, hearts are not won by force, wealth, beauty or status.
They are won by much less of a sacrifice, yet few are able to win
them.




I recall one of my students at university who had become
physiologically ill due to severe depression. His father held a high
position in the police force and had come to visit me at the
university quite a few times, asking me for my help with his son.
I would visit his house every now and then, which was a towering
mansion. I would notice that his house would always be full
of guests. I was amazed at how much this family was loved and
respected.
Years went by and the man retired. I went to his house for
a visit. I entered his mansion and went into the guest room to
notice more than fifty chairs, but only one person watching television
and a servant offering him coffee or tea. I sat with him
for a while. When I left, I began to compare his situation while
the man was working with now that he had retired. What was
it about him that had attracted the people then? I realised that
the man did not win people over by his manners, kindness and


A good treatment of others. Rather, he had only attracted them by
means of his status, position and the fact that he was well-connected.[/COLOR

]When he lost his position, he also lost the love people


had for him.
Therefore, learn a lesson from this man. Deal with the people
so skilfully that they love you for who you are and what you
say, and for your smile, gentleness and generosity. They will love
the fact that you overlook their faults and stand by them at times
of hardship. Do not allow their hearts to be attached merely to
your status and your purse!
The one who provides his children and wife with wealth,
food and drink only does not win their hearts by doing so,
but only their stomachs! The one who showers his family with
wealth while he mistreats them does not win their hearts; rather,
he only wins their pockets.
For this reason, do not be surprised if you see a young man
who faces a problem and therefore complains to his friend,
teacher, or the Imam of a mosque, but not to his own father. This
would be because the father has failed to win over his heart and
break down barriers. On the other hand, it is the teacher or the
friend, who has managed to win his heart.


Another important point: Have you ever noticed that when
certain people visit a gathering packed with people and look left
and right for somewhere to sit, there always seems to be no
shortage of people calling them over to sit next to them. Why?
Or at a buffet, where everyone serves themselves food and
then looks for somewhere to sit, have you noted that such people,
as soon as they have filled their plates, are subject to large


numbers of people calling them over in order to eat with them?
Whereas, others may fill their plates and have nobody taking any
interest whatsoever, so they have a very lonely meal?
Why are people so eager to sit with one type but not the
other? Is it not the case that certain people have the ability to attract
hearts wherever they may be, as if they are magnets? How
extraordinary!
How did they manage to win over people? By using clever
techniques to capture people’s hearts.




Resolution...

Our ability to capture people’s hearts and win their love
brings us great happiness in life