This is my first time trying to write a novel, and if its OK, I'd like to ask for a little bit of critique and advice/opinions. This is an excerpt from the third chapter, I haven't got much further than this.
Warning: there is some slight foul lang*uage.
*Robyn hesitated for a moment, looking at the fuel can and backpack beneath her table, then picked up her glass and walked over to the two Englishmen. The man facing her looked like he had gone to sleep now...
"'Scuse me," She repeated once more, patting the other man on the shoulder. He lurched horribly to one side and his neck jerked back, so that he was looking up at Robyn; his eyelids were flickering rapidly, and his eyes were rolled back into his head so that she could only see the white parts. Robyn took a couple of steps backwards in shock. The man lifted his arm up a bit and made some awful gurgling sound, and some saliva overflowed from his open mouth, dribbling into his beard.
"Shit..." Muttered Robyn. She quickly tilted the man's head forwards slightly. He vomited a bit onto the front of his already filthy robes and then coughed a couple of times, before continuing to breathe consistently again, though he seemed to be fully unconscious now; he remained motionless, slumped in his chair with his head bowed forwards.