Peace be upon you Polina,I wanna say I felt sorry about what happens to you.Yeah,you’re right we only realize the importance of somebody when he is gone. Then we blame ourselves later.But we’ve to believe too since it’s not the end of life and even we lose the person we loved,his impression w’ll be with us always and as the proverbs says “Every cloud has a silver lining”. so,be sure, that every sad situation has a positive side to it.
My best wishes