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مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : .....Love makes us


ليان و بسنت
2009-01-25, 18:59
Perhaps it's not true

But i feel that i love you

For many years ago

But i doen't want to do this show

To go out with eachother

And protent that we'll stay together forever

I want to have a real relation ship

Without asking me to meet

Or telling me sweet words

I don't want to be in defferent roeds

Only you look at me from far

While you are ready to be in huge wa

with anyone neking me

Because you are inside a huge jalousy

Just don't tell me that you don't have feeling for me

Or my heart will never gets free

I know i am anxous but this is what i feel

vanderrok
2009-01-25, 21:49
hi,thank you for the poem it contains deep,true and noble feelings you have just to correct some mistakes in grammar,writting,fragments and to develop your english , anyway you succeeded to make the reader understand and feel what you are getting at (or feel what you feel) i liked your work go on.....................................best wishes