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مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : Hypocrite


ilina 07
2011-12-19, 17:29
Follower of the devil
to my eyes you seemed incredible
but inside you appeared diabolical

Like a virus
you spread your poison everywhere
to sand became everything you touched
and flew away

You' ve always tried
to crawl inside me with your littel dirty lies
and let them play with my poor mind

I' ve divest my heart from all emotion
and left all your mad discrimination
for all your words i scream objection
so i can reach my own satisfaction

Beware hypocrite for the truth is an ugly blade
it will turn you to a slave
like a knife it shall stab you in the back
so that you can feel your heart crack

I'll leave you now my dear
in peace
hopefully in fear
with a smile i say good by
and pray for you a nice fake life

well i hope that you'll like my poem and if you don't please tell me so that i can improve my writing and make better poems

Karim_Rap_4_life
2011-12-19, 17:36
Hi nice to see that for real I'm going to copy it and read it carefully in my personal desk because I'm in "cyber" loooool

ilina 07
2011-12-19, 17:38
okey no problem karim ..thank you and i hope that you'll like it

Karim_Rap_4_life
2011-12-19, 17:44
I will like ...I just want to concentrate on them before saying anything

حكاية قلب
2011-12-19, 17:49
Hello

*
First i loved the title it's good chosen
hypocrite

and i loved the words you used it's so meaninful
i like it so much
i've a poem seems like that it's kinda the same feelings
but i didn't write it like you did you chosed a good words for that
*
i have some notification about what u wrote inand pray for you a nice fack life

i guess u mean FAKE dnt u ?

*
*

^.^
accept my comment
peace

ilina 07
2011-12-19, 17:51
yes of course ..and waw your last poem is a hitt...i really wish if i can write like you..but i'll try to learn from you.. and be as creative as you

ilina 07
2011-12-19, 17:52
omg i didn't pay attention to that thank you very much i'm really sorry

ilina 07
2011-12-19, 17:56
thank you shin hyun for your comment and i'm sur that your poem is amazing..thanx again you are really very appreciated

حكاية قلب
2011-12-19, 17:57
u're welcome never mind

^^

Karim_Rap_4_life
2011-12-20, 11:54
My Interfering:
No one has the right to say I don't like your poem
and who could say that he is a heartless and
disrespectful....he can do it officially and with
a respectful form in his justified critics

I must Confess:
Miss "Illina 07" I believe that you've a strong
Imagination and linking expressions with
the situation you live or feel for some phenomenon
Believe when you develope your writing it would be
harder to compete I can see that because of the way you
express but the simple way to get your Goal is
just stay right here reading the members writing why?
because they are simple and not hard to understand so
notice the way they make coherence believe step by
step you'll be highter I wish you good luck.

What I've understood?
You are talking about a hypocrite or an hypocrites
who were somehow near to you I mean you consider
tham as Friends or something like that but you discoveres
that they are a bad liers and hypocrites so you decided
to left them easily .....Also you describe their undesirable
Gestures as a bad luck to you I got it.


With all my respect:

Be war hypocrite for the truth is an ugly blade
Or
Be aware hypocrite for the truth is an ugly blade
Please explain to me what do you mean by this
I'm sorry I could not understand the meaning


and pray for you a nice fack life
Or
and pray for you a nice Fake life


An important advice!!!!!
See my topic Titled "An important advice"
Okey believe me it's benificial....

Keep Writiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiing

ilina 07
2011-12-20, 13:09
thank you karim for your comment..and for your amazing advices..i'm really happy that you understood it ..and yes you got me i have a big imagination and sometimes i can't control it i just can't help it...and for your remark it's "beware hypocrite for the truth is an ugly blade " i was worning the hypocrite for the moment of truth and i compared it to a an ugly blade..cause in this right moment this hypocrite will become powerless and weak.in the end i mad a small mistak it's "pray for you a nice fake life".thanx again my freind for your encouraggements..and just a littel remark i didn't understand your last advice...please explain..thank you in advance

Karim_Rap_4_life
2011-12-20, 13:36
thank you karim for your comment..and for your amazing advices..i'm really happy that you understood it ..and yes you got me i have a big imagination and sometimes i can't control it i just can't help it...and for your remark it's "beware hypocrite for the truth is an ugly blade " i was worning the hypocrite for the moment of truth and i compared it to a an ugly blade..cause in this right moment this hypocrite will become powerless and weak.in the end i mad a small mistak it's "pray for you a nice fake life".thanx again my freind for your encouraggements..and just a littel remark i didn't understand your last advice...please explain..thank you in advance

Thank you for your reply.....For the last Advice (I'm going to create or publish a topic Right here which is titled an "important advice" Just to say some word here to help memberes to write their poems it's my idea and as I have a little experience jjust like you said my poems are a little bit god so I'll tell you how I make my poems just an opinions and plans to advice others to get something about writing poetry ...I know I'm not the one who should give advices about poetry because I'm a beginner just like others but I notice dthat no one gave an advice so I decided to do it by myself That's all.........wait for my topic okey

ilina 07
2011-12-20, 13:47
you are welcome...yeah for the topic i think that it's a wonderful idea..it will allow to all members to progress and improve their writing ..and about your poems they are not just good they are very good...thank you my freind a lot.. i can't wait to see your topic

ilina 07
2011-12-21, 13:37
come on every body where are your comments??

Karim_Rap_4_life
2011-12-21, 14:48
come on every body where are your comments??


Illina I guess that no one care to see our writing just the same what I've got you remember what I said to them before I think you feel how I thought that days when no one wanted to comment except you and some few others...that make me feel so sad but be a patient

ilina 07
2011-12-21, 15:31
yes you are definetly right karim now i understand why you where so ungry ...yes i feel so said ..thank you my freind you really know how to make a person feel good...well if they don't want read our poems i don't care it's their lost anyway