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مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : with the nothion of missing....come onnnnnnnn


newflower
2011-12-07, 14:38
With You

With the notion of missing
I tell you good bye
With the drop of my tears,
I never give up the way
With the bits of my heart
I can feel your heart enslaves mine day by day
With your lung's breathes
I'll be bally dancer sway me away

With the a worm kiss….you take me high
With a single word….. you give whings to fly

With your magical spell,
You inject me a shot in my arm to try
With a touch of your hand
You send me up to heaven…far over the sky
With a glance sight of your eyes,
You make me sink, couse it's deep
Than the see of Hemingway

With your shiny smile , you the day wonderful
Like you offer me energy of sun's rays.

With your lovely finguer, I had no choice…
Only to bite, scratch or play…

With your soft skin, I prefer to drow
Sign your name and mine….
Or shape miniature made of clay
With hug of your chest
I feel worm than the sand of Hawaii
With your purest heart
I nerver had a love like yours from another guy
Withe your honest feeling, niether Days nor Mounths
Make me get rid of you..

I'll sacrefy my life to get with you
This is my last coin to pay

With the promise that I take, You have nothing to say…
Just , Hold me tight me babe and dont let me go
Becouse nowhere like my heart makes easy to lay….. .

حكاية قلب
2011-12-08, 18:10
it's such
a wonderfuuul Words
I adooooooooooooore it

Keep writing
^.^

but there are some mistakes
/
/


With the bits of my heart
Beats
whings to fly
wings

you the day wonderful ??? i dindt get it
pls can u Explain

with my respects
Good Luck




/
/
Peace
p:

newflower
2011-12-09, 18:47
[QUOTE=shin hyun;8161427]it's such
a wonderfuuul Words
I adooooooooooooore it

Keep writing
^.^

but there are some mistakes
/
/


With the bits of my heart
Beats
whings to fly
wings

you the day wonderful ??? i dindt get it
pls can u Explain

with my respects
Good Luck




/
/
Peace
p:

[/QUOTE

THANK UUUUUUUUUUUUUU
i realy appreciates ur remarkes thank u my dear....u really give shot in my arm to share my feelings.

]

منة الرحمن
2011-12-09, 18:50
Soooooooo good .... keep on writing..

حكاية قلب
2011-12-09, 19:07
THANK UUUUUUUUUUUUUU
i realy appreciates ur remarkes thank u my dear....u really give shot in my arm to share my feelings.


You're Wélcome

^^

]

newflower
2011-12-09, 19:10
Soooooooo good .... keep on writing..

Thank u for ur words...........keep on touch

Karim_Rap_4_life
2011-12-10, 12:59
You Miss someone so hard, a love that's so hard to forget

My reply (Meaning)

I was always telling these kind words full of confessing and showing
a great affection of someone that enslaved me Like white to the NIggers
in the end what I got only a tears on my cheeks when that one
replied a words full of disrespect from a cold heart??? I don't know why
but you know what for me Love is a damn disease pffff
poems...roses...sucrifices....bad luck....jealousy....problems following
you ....get your self chasing dreams....in the night nightmares
feel like you are condamned in your heart showing an unconditional
love get your target person exploiting your kindness no respect
no good discipline but bad treatig just because you love that person
that's the great problem haha.....New Flower My advice to you
Watch your life look inside that person's heart I wish you good luck
or more than that wish you get married with that guy because I see that
you're sinking in an ocean of emotions....If it happened tell me your
******** to come with my ship to help you hhhhhhh see i'm just
showing you that I give an attention to your writing okey peace peace
peace be upon you Girl.

Regards to your poem:

Your poem is well depicted and you chose the real words
this poem is special why? because of the "similes" you used
are so good you described everything a tight hug___a warm kiss
a hand touch a glance of sight__shiny smile all that expression
made me feel like i'm watching a romantic movie just like the Indian
ones or I don't know how it was hahaha....

Mistakes:
Bits____Beats
I'll be bally dancers_____I'll be a bally dancer
whings____wings
see of hemingway____Sea of Hemingway
Finguer_______Finger
drow____Draw
niether___Neither
Sacrefy____sacrifice
mounths____months
hold me tight me babe___Hold me tigh babe
With your shiny smile , you the day wonderful
I think she meant to say "you make the day wonderful"



"with your lung's breathes
I'll be a bally dancer sway me away"___Please explain

"with your magical spell
you inject me a shot in my arm to try"___Please explain

newflower
2011-12-10, 14:23
thanks for ur thorought comments i really apreciatte them.
about the"similes" i used in the poem...i like to pay attention to every details ignoring if i describ a real scene or fictitious one no more.
dnt worry my personal life is too stable thanks for u care.but whem i write something i like to put my self in in order to write something special drows a real picture no more my brother.

"with your lung's breathes
I'll be a bally dancer sway me away " means when i feel him aroud m i ll b so pleased like if i want to dance in other words he sways my heart

"with your magical spell
you inject me a shot in my arm to try" an idiom means give hope by his existance around m .
thanks again