Jokes For Class Use

[Batoul29]

A young man studying in a college abroad sent this SMS to his father: Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son.
The father replied: Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad.

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A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied. "Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?" The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points without hesitation." "What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?" "I'd run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually" "And if the lever was broken?" "I'd get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points," he replied. "And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?" The boy thought about that one. "I'd run into town and get my uncle" "Is your uncle an electrician?" "No, but he's never seen a train crash before!"


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Jail Mail
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."


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you know that people from Saoudi Arabia do not pronounce /p/ ; a Saoudi Arabian was driving his car in London, when he gets tired, he asked a policeman if he can park his car, he says can I bark here? the policeman answers, yes you can bark , but don't bite anyone.

[smart]

hahaha
thank you so much batoul
really.........you made me laugh from my heart

[Batoul29]

Happy to know that you liked them smarty

[لبيبة]

Verry funny

[Batoul29]

Happy to see here sister

[smart]

do you have any new jokes batoul

[Batoul29]

As soon as I can

[smart]

great ..........iam waiting

[hairless17]

thanks sister
the jokes are very good in teaching because they bring fun to teaching
thanks

[smart]

this is the idea
each teacher have to make his teaching fun

[Batoul29]

Good idea
You see,the joke quoted above might be exploited in many ways:
1-we can use this joke as an introduction to a theme about ********s,,accents,idiosyncrasy, probelms of ******** and communication for foreigners ...,etc.

2-to introduce homonyms
3-to introduce ways of asking and giving permission

it requires just a short pause and reflection to find even other better ways and means to take profit from jokes

[cute_angel]

so funny thanks so much

[Batoul29]

You are
http://www.al-wed.com/pic-vb/303.gif
sister

[choumicha]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY GIRL KEEP UP <a href="http://www.sweetim.com/s.asp?im=gen&ref=11" target="_blank"><img src="http://*******.sweetim.com/sim/cpie/emoticons/000201F9.gif" border=0 ></a>

[Batoul29]

http://www.al-wed.com/pic-vb/721.gif

[hairless17]

I am back
any new jokes batoul

[smart]

the jokes are on the way

[hairless17]

and i am waiting

[Batoul29]

Henry’s job was to examine cars which crossed the frontier, to make sure that they were not smuggling anything into the country without paying.
Every evening except on weekends, he used to see a factory worker coming up the hill towards the frontier, pushing a bicycle with a big loaf of old straw on it. When the bicycle reached the frontier, Henry used to stop the man and make him take the straw off and untie it. Then he used to examine the straw very carefully to see whether he could find anything, after which he used to look in all the man’s pockets before he let him tie the straw up again, put it on his bicycle and go off down the hill with it. Although Henry was always expecting to find gold or jewelry or other valuable things hidden in the straw, he never found anything, ever though he examined it very carefully. He was sure that the man was smuggling something, but he was not able to imagine what it could be.
Then one evening, after he had looked through the straw and emptied the factory worker’s pockets as carefully as he always did, he said to him:
« Listen. I know that you’re smuggling things across this frontier. Won’t you tell me what it is that you’re bringing into the country so successfully? I’m an old man, and today’s my last day in this job. Tomorrow I’m going to retire. I promise that i shall not tell anyone else if you tell me what you’ve been smuggling. »
The factory worker did not say anything for some time. Then he smiled, turned to Henry and said quietly, « Bicycles. »

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Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

[hairless17]

Very nice, Batoul

[Batoul29]

Where are you smart
??????????????????
I have a new one for you


A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." "Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" "Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water

[smart]

Where are you smart
??????????????????
I have a new one for you


A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." "Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" "Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water

IAM sorry i wasnt at home
Wonderful jokes darling
Thank You so much

[بنت الاردن]

thanke you sooooooooooooooo much

[Batoul29]

IAM sorry i wasnt at home
Wonderful jokes darling
Thank You so much

Welcome back sister

[Batoul29]

thanke you sooooooooooooooo much

You are welcome

[hairless17]

Sisssssssssssssssssssssssssssster can you bring us some jokes

[Batoul29]

Yes, I'm going to need your help

[smart]

Yes, I going to need your help

My dear batoul can You aloud Me to correct for You
You say IAM going to need Your help
AM I correct sir????
Thank you my dear sister
IAM glad to be home

[Batoul29]

I'm doing a lot of mistakes those days
I don't know why
Thanks you for the correction
smart

[hairless17]

Smarty
You are taking my place
Very good

[smart]

I'm doing a lot of mistakes those days
I don't know why
Thanks you for the correction
smart

We all do mistakes
You need to be careful when You write that's all
You are welcome dear

[smart]

Smarty
You are taking my place
Very good

Iam not trying to take your place
You are greater
Thank you sir

[Batoul29]

Thank you for the advice

[smart]

You are welcome
We are here for each other
Another day you will coirrect for me my mistakes