jang-mi
2010-07-18, 19:32
안녀하서
Peace be upon you all
I thought that some jokes may do well for all of you……i found some funny jokes by surfing, and i'd like to share them with you……
And if you have jokes, please just put them in
Enjoy reading
What is the longest word in the English ********?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.
A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?
She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
The teacher speaking to a student said, "Saud, name two pronouns."
Saud who suddenly woke up, said, "Who, me?"
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
장미
Peace be upon you all
I thought that some jokes may do well for all of you……i found some funny jokes by surfing, and i'd like to share them with you……
And if you have jokes, please just put them in
Enjoy reading
What is the longest word in the English ********?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.
A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?
She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
The teacher speaking to a student said, "Saud, name two pronouns."
Saud who suddenly woke up, said, "Who, me?"
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
장미