الاخت الكريمة
2015-06-23, 09:49
ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻜﻢ ﻭﺭﺣﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻭﺑﺮﻛﺎﺗﻪ
ﺍﻗﺪﻡ ﻟﻜﻢ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻨﻜﺖ ﺍﻟﻘﺼﻴﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺴﻠﻴﺔ
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ﻣﺮﺓ ﺻﺤﻔﻲ ﺗﺰﻭﺝ ﺑﺼﺤﻔﻴﺔ
ﻭﻟﺪﺕ ﻋﻨﺪﻫﻢ ﻃﻔﻠﺔ ﺳﻤﺎﻭﻫﺎ
ﺧﺒﺮ ﻋﺎﺟﻞ
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ﻗﺎﻟﻚ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺯﻭﺝ
ﻭﺍﺡ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ ﻓﺎﻟﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻭﻻﺧﺮ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ ﻓﺎﻟﻠﻴﻞ
ﻭﺑﻘﺎﻭ ﻫﻜﺎﻙ
ﻟﻘﺎﻭ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺳﻘﺴﺎﻭﻩ :
ﺧﻮﻳﺎ ﺣﻨﺎ ﻓﺎﻟﻠﻴﻞ ﻭﻻ ﻓﺎﻟﻨﻬﺎﺭ
ﻗﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﺍﺳﻤﺤﻮﻟﻲ ﻣﺎ ﻧﺴﻜﻨﺶ ﻫﻨﺎ
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ﺍﻟﻄﺒﻴﺐ :ﺃﺳﻨﺎﻧﻚ ﺑﺤﺎﺟﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺗﻘﻮﻳﻢ !
ﺍﻟﻤﺮﻳﺾ : ﻫﺠﺮﻱ ﺃﻡ ﻣﻴﻼﺩﻱ ؟ !!
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ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺟﺔ : ﻋﻼﺵ ﻗﻄﻌﺖ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺠﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻋﻨﻮﺍﻧﻪ ( ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﻌﻴﺶ ﻣﺎﺋﺔ ﺳﻨﺔ )
ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺝ : ﺧﻔﺖ ﺗﻘﺮﺍﻩ ﺃﻣﻚ
ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺗﻐﺎﺑﺾ ﻣﻊ ﺍﻟﺪﺍﺭ ﺍﻧﺘﺎﻋﻬﻢ ﻗﺎﻝ ﻻﺧﺘﻮ ﺍﻋﻄﻴﻨﻲ ﺣﻮﺍﻳﺠﻲ ﻭﻧﺨﺮﺝ ﻣﺎ ﻧﺰﻳﺪﺵ ﻧﻴﺠﻲ ﻋﻄﺎﺗﻠﻮ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻝ ﻭﻗﺎﺗﻠﻮ
ﻫﺎﺫﺍ ﻣﺎ ﻋﻨﺪﻙ
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ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻏﺒﻰ ﻗﺺ ﺭﺍﺹ ﺻﺎﺣﺒﻮ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻝ : ﺩﺭﻙ ﻳﻬﺒﻞ ﻛﻮﻥ ﻳﻨﻮﺽ ﻭ ﻣﺎ ﻳﻠﻘﺎﺵ ﺭﺍﺳﻮ
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ﻣﺮﻩ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻋﻨﺪﻩ ﻣﺰﺭﻋﺔ ﺩﺟﺎﺝ ﻭﺭﺍﺡ ﻟﻠﻤﺰﺭﻋﺔ ﻧﺘﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺪﺟﺎﺝ ﻟﻘﻰ
ﻣﺎ ﺑﺎﺿﻮﺵ ﻭﻻ ﺑﻴﻀﻪ ،ﺣﻜﻢ ﺩﺟﺎﺟﺔ ﻭﻗﺺ ﺭﻳﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻣﺶ ﺭﺍﻳﺤﺔ ﺗﺒﻴﺾ
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ 5 ﺑﻴﻀﺎﺕ ﻧﺪﻳﺮﻟﻬﺎ ﻛﻴﻤﺎ ﺩﺭﺕ ﻟﻠﺪﺟﺎﺟﺔ ﻫﺬﻱ ، ﺟﺎ ﺗﺎﻧﻲ ﻳﻮﻡ ﻭﻟﻘﻲ ﺍﻟﺪﺟﺎﺝ
ﻛﻠﻬﺎ ﺑﺎﻳﻀﻴﻦ 5 ﺑﻴﻀﺎﺕ ﺍﻻ ﻭﺣﺪﻩ ﺑﺎﻳﻀﻪ ﺑﻴﻀﺘﻴﻦ ﺑﺮﻙ،ﺣﻜﻤﻬﺎ
ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﻭﻋﻼﻩ 2 ، ﺭﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﻗﺎﻟﺖ : ﺍﺣﻤﺪ ﺭﺑﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺯﻭﺝ ... ﺭﺍﻧﻲ ﻓﺮﻭﺝ
ﺍﻗﺪﻡ ﻟﻜﻢ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻨﻜﺖ ﺍﻟﻘﺼﻴﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺴﻠﻴﺔ
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ﻣﺮﺓ ﺻﺤﻔﻲ ﺗﺰﻭﺝ ﺑﺼﺤﻔﻴﺔ
ﻭﻟﺪﺕ ﻋﻨﺪﻫﻢ ﻃﻔﻠﺔ ﺳﻤﺎﻭﻫﺎ
ﺧﺒﺮ ﻋﺎﺟﻞ
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ﻗﺎﻟﻚ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺯﻭﺝ
ﻭﺍﺡ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ ﻓﺎﻟﻨﻬﺎﺭ ﻭﻻﺧﺮ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﺣﻨﺎ ﻓﺎﻟﻠﻴﻞ
ﻭﺑﻘﺎﻭ ﻫﻜﺎﻙ
ﻟﻘﺎﻭ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺳﻘﺴﺎﻭﻩ :
ﺧﻮﻳﺎ ﺣﻨﺎ ﻓﺎﻟﻠﻴﻞ ﻭﻻ ﻓﺎﻟﻨﻬﺎﺭ
ﻗﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﺍﺳﻤﺤﻮﻟﻲ ﻣﺎ ﻧﺴﻜﻨﺶ ﻫﻨﺎ
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ﺍﻟﻄﺒﻴﺐ :ﺃﺳﻨﺎﻧﻚ ﺑﺤﺎﺟﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺗﻘﻮﻳﻢ !
ﺍﻟﻤﺮﻳﺾ : ﻫﺠﺮﻱ ﺃﻡ ﻣﻴﻼﺩﻱ ؟ !!
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ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺟﺔ : ﻋﻼﺵ ﻗﻄﻌﺖ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺠﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻋﻨﻮﺍﻧﻪ ( ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﻌﻴﺶ ﻣﺎﺋﺔ ﺳﻨﺔ )
ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺝ : ﺧﻔﺖ ﺗﻘﺮﺍﻩ ﺃﻣﻚ
ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﺗﻐﺎﺑﺾ ﻣﻊ ﺍﻟﺪﺍﺭ ﺍﻧﺘﺎﻋﻬﻢ ﻗﺎﻝ ﻻﺧﺘﻮ ﺍﻋﻄﻴﻨﻲ ﺣﻮﺍﻳﺠﻲ ﻭﻧﺨﺮﺝ ﻣﺎ ﻧﺰﻳﺪﺵ ﻧﻴﺠﻲ ﻋﻄﺎﺗﻠﻮ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻝ ﻭﻗﺎﺗﻠﻮ
ﻫﺎﺫﺍ ﻣﺎ ﻋﻨﺪﻙ
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ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻏﺒﻰ ﻗﺺ ﺭﺍﺹ ﺻﺎﺣﺒﻮ ﻭ ﻗﺎﻝ : ﺩﺭﻙ ﻳﻬﺒﻞ ﻛﻮﻥ ﻳﻨﻮﺽ ﻭ ﻣﺎ ﻳﻠﻘﺎﺵ ﺭﺍﺳﻮ
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ﻣﺮﻩ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻋﻨﺪﻩ ﻣﺰﺭﻋﺔ ﺩﺟﺎﺝ ﻭﺭﺍﺡ ﻟﻠﻤﺰﺭﻋﺔ ﻧﺘﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺪﺟﺎﺝ ﻟﻘﻰ
ﻣﺎ ﺑﺎﺿﻮﺵ ﻭﻻ ﺑﻴﻀﻪ ،ﺣﻜﻢ ﺩﺟﺎﺟﺔ ﻭﻗﺺ ﺭﻳﺸﻬﺎ ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻠﻲ ﻣﺶ ﺭﺍﻳﺤﺔ ﺗﺒﻴﺾ
ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ 5 ﺑﻴﻀﺎﺕ ﻧﺪﻳﺮﻟﻬﺎ ﻛﻴﻤﺎ ﺩﺭﺕ ﻟﻠﺪﺟﺎﺟﺔ ﻫﺬﻱ ، ﺟﺎ ﺗﺎﻧﻲ ﻳﻮﻡ ﻭﻟﻘﻲ ﺍﻟﺪﺟﺎﺝ
ﻛﻠﻬﺎ ﺑﺎﻳﻀﻴﻦ 5 ﺑﻴﻀﺎﺕ ﺍﻻ ﻭﺣﺪﻩ ﺑﺎﻳﻀﻪ ﺑﻴﻀﺘﻴﻦ ﺑﺮﻙ،ﺣﻜﻤﻬﺎ
ﻭﻗﺎﻝ ﻭﻋﻼﻩ 2 ، ﺭﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﻗﺎﻟﺖ : ﺍﺣﻤﺪ ﺭﺑﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺯﻭﺝ ... ﺭﺍﻧﻲ ﻓﺮﻭﺝ