تسجيل الدخول

مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : Im so sorry


benniche farid
2015-05-21, 17:38
Dear God ;

I'm so sorry CZ Iam so weak 2 stop my self doing bad & worest !
I'm so sorry Cz I let her doing that than im happy 2 keep doing it although i know it's wrong ?
I'm so sorry CZ I hate the time whene i was feeling that's something or someone show me that it's not the right way !
I'm so sorry Cz I lose controle ...
I'm so sorry CZ I waste the time far from u !
I'm so sorry Cz I didn't see what u gave me ?
I'm so sorry CZ I was late my god
I'm so sorry Cz I was ( greedy , Coward , afarid , Wrong , Lazy , double & Hypocrite , ...)
I'm so sorry CZ I was blindness the time that i was seeing & my eyes opne ...
I'm so sorry Cz I feel without fear :(
I'm so sorry CZ I listen 2 songs & ingore Quran :'(
I'm so sorry Cz I haven't showed the real & best picture of the muslim Man ...
I'm so soory CZ I believed this (L i f e) sorry i mean this "Big" (L i e)
I'm so sorry Cz I was stupid enough to looking for happiness on this planet .
I'm so sorry CZ I laughed , In the time that I had to cry ...
I'm so sorry Cz I don't follow the user guide .
I'm so soory CZ I push my soul 2 this bog ...
Im so sorry Cz I become a slive after i was free ...

2 be continued

loursbourg
2015-06-04, 01:34
Sorry is massively repeated. avoid using same words in the same line & try not to use shortcuts such as 'CZ', '2' and 'u'.
Sorry to tell you this but, your poem (or whatever you call it) js full of spell, grammar errors. :)

Bouchra mimi
2015-06-07, 22:39
Hi how r u doing ?? Hope you're okay

I liked the meaning of what u wrote , although theres some mistakes

Its ok but you have to learn and improve urself

And never use shortcuts in poems

you have to work a bit harder to write flawless ones

keep going and dont give up on learning

may god bless you

benniche farid
2015-06-07, 22:47
Hi how r u doing ?? Hope you're okay

I liked the meaning of what u wrote , although theres some mistakes

Its ok but you have to learn and improve urself

And never use shortcuts in poems

you have to work a bit harder to write flawless ones

keep going and dont give up on learning

may god bless you


thank's for your review :)

i used on purpose !? i don't know why but i fall for shortcut ;)

by the way ; i don't call it a poem ! & the most importen for me that you read between the lines ...

unfortunately i I wrote from my heart ! words there come from ...

i think that my mind It was to down :(

Bouchra mimi
2015-06-07, 23:10
thank's for your review :)

i used on purpose !? i don't know why but i fall for shortcut ;)

by the way ; i don't call it a poem ! & the most importen for me that you read between the lines ...

unfortunately i I wrote from my heart ! words there come from ...

i think that my mind It was to down :(

yep u right and i can see that u wrote it from ur heart

i felt you and i understood ur msg and I think that was

really honest

benniche farid
2015-06-07, 23:20
yep u right and i can see that u wrote it from ur heart

i felt you and i understood ur msg and I think that was

really honest

thank's yeah it is ! words & feeling merged ...