my modest poem

[رحمة 1994]

Hello everybody.. i hope that you're all fine. Well i'm Rahma and when i was a little bit younger i used to write english poems so i want to share with you one of my poems which i deeply love. i wrote it when i was 15 years old.

love has gone
leaving our hearts empty
except sadness and dispair
you are here and i'm here
no way to unite
mooving in the dark
vain to find light
i call you but you don't respound
yet my love is very profound
come come and touch my leep
thus you realise how much my love is deep


so what do you think guys?? waiting for comments


peace :)

[للعلا طالبة]

Good afternoon,
Age doesn't matter in literature, a talent is a talent, whether inborn or acquired. Anyways, your poem is an example for youth and cheerfulness, don't let this attitude down. And keep up with writing! Though it'd be preferable if you haven't employed some explicit words.
Aside from that, I feel obliged to point at some mistakes done over there. For instance, we say: moving, respond,lip. And for this expression: vain to find light, I guess you mean: searching light in vain.
Good luck for the rest of your works!

[fou zia]

so nice, congratulations poet

[hhh99]

good remarks
plus i guess she meant lip by leep
for there is no such a word in english
either lip or leap

[imen red flower]

hey girl just keep writing you have something precious hold on it tight

[fâscînat]

i love it so nice

[wiam sarah]

keep writting to escape from this dark world
i really liked it