hey ! chek my poem

[روح قسنطينة]

last summer i wrote a poem 2 my best of friends , n i wanna share it with u 2 tell me about ur opinions
K and M
I know that i hurt you
And i broke your heart too
My face is sad and blue
So gloomy and i just wanna spew
Oh! i was like a dirty jew
Rude like that i lived in slew
Run away is what i wanna do
Yesterday, is the day when i knew
Knew that i was as bad as my shoe
Man tell me what shall a little girl do

[Help_Me]

I'm sorry KM ;)

[روح قسنطينة]

yeah ! hhhhh
i'm so sorry kM

[روح قسنطينة]

I'm sorry KM ;)

? tell me did u like the poem or not

[Help_Me]

? tell me did u like the poem or not

i liked the sound of the sentences end
but, i didn't understand the words

[(( ضياء الدين ))]

great little girl

[Yùceef]

Omg please change the 'jew' word its the religion of jewish people :/

[راغبة 18]

I like the poem, the only thing that disgust me is the antisemite line that wasn't really necessary.
As muslims we should treat others the way we want to be treated =)
و يمكننا الإستدلال بسيرة النبي صلى الله عليه و سلّم

[Yùceef]

I like the poem, the only thing that disgust me is the antisemite line that wasn't really necessary.
As muslims we should treat others like we want to be treated =)
و يمكننا الإستدلال بسيرة النبي صلى الله عليه و سلّم
Yeep dats True :19:

[روح قسنطينة]

i liked the sound of the sentences end
but, i didn't understand the words
it's ok i'll explaine it 2 u if u like ;)

[روح قسنطينة]

great little girl

thnx bro
!!! but how did u knoww that i'm a girl

[روح قسنطينة]

Omg please change the 'jew' word its the religion of jewish people :/
i know what do we mean by jew
n i don't mean i'm a jew just understand the meaning of the sentence plz
it's just a likening u got it now

[روح قسنطينة]

I like the poem, the only thing that disgust me is the antisemite line that wasn't really necessary.
As muslims we should treat others the way we want to be treated =)
و يمكننا الإستدلال بسيرة النبي صلى الله عليه و سلّم

ok i'm sorry
thnx for ur advice i'll try 2 change it ok :19:
" just don't be angry from me sis " raghiba

[روح قسنطينة]

oh ! i was as bad as my loo
??? what about this is it better

[(( ضياء الدين ))]

hhhhh it s clair ( lokan ja tfol kon kteb poem bel hiroglifia) .d

[روح قسنطينة]

LOL ! u r so funny buddy

[Yùceef]

LoL ur a GiiRl ! with Sasuke's Pic on ur profil :p

[روح قسنطينة]

but this is not my profile
:30::30::30::30:

[~صادقة~]

حبذاا لو كانت قصيدتك تحمل رسالة مفيدة

ستكون اجمل :19:

[روح قسنطينة]

but it has a sense
it's an apology

[Yùceef]

but this is not my profile
:30::30::30::30:
Oups o.O !

[~~ أنون ~~]

so good
you have a great talent
keep shining bro
peace

[سجودي لرب العالمين]

Hello
In ur poem I liked the three first lines , I didn't like the expression of 'I just wanna spew' u could use more touching expression like ' so gloomy and I don't know what's the clue''
Also the expression of ' as bad as my shoe' I didn't like it maybe u can use '' knew that I was tottaly out of control

The last line u cannot use two models for the same verb , u use shall and can for the verb ''do'' so u can say what shall a little girl do or u use can instead of shall
And we say like a dirty not like dirty
Check not chek
Good job friend , hope u the best

[روح قسنطينة]

so good
you have a great talent
keep shining bro
peace


thnx buddy
hhhh n i'm a girl not boy
u can call me sis

[روح قسنطينة]

Hello
In ur poem I liked the three first lines , I didn't like the expression of 'I just wanna spew' u could use more touching expression like ' so gloomy and I don't know what's the clue''
Also the expression of ' as bad as my shoe' I didn't like it maybe u can use '' knew that I was tottaly out of control

The last line u cannot use two models for the same verb , u use shall and can for the verb ''do'' so u can say what shall a little girl do or u use can instead of shall
And we say like a dirty not like dirty
Check not chek
Good job friend , hope u the best
thnx a lot for ur remarks n ur opinions i'll try working with it next time
peace

[سجودي لرب العالمين]

thnx a lot for ur remarks n ur opinions i'll try working with it next time
peace

inshaAllah :19:

[روح قسنطينة]

inshaAllah :19:
:19: yeap insh'ALLAH
thnx again sis
ur English is very good i like it
? r u a bac student or what

[Kawaii09]

I like the peom, but you made a tiny mistake at the end, you can't say "what shall ..sb can do) it's either shall or can, you can't use both of 'em at the same time
nicely done though^^

[روح قسنطينة]

I like the peom, but you made a tiny mistake at the end, you can't say "what shall ..sb can do) it's either shall or can, you can't use both of 'em at the same time
nicely done though^^

thnx sweety
yeah ! i know i'll try 2 work with ur remark next time
thnx again :19: