Spirits call

[Asolvip]

Every time i sit by myself ...
I feel like spirits talk to me and whisper...
We are regretting for the past ...
That past that we couldn't change ...
Because it was too late then ..
But they told me : your heart 's still beating ...
So don't miss the chance and keep fighting...
Til you get your goal ...
Your dream is not so far ..
And look at us , here we are ..
We can't move , we can't do a thing...
But you should be intelligent and get the ring ...
That keeps you sticking to him til you die...
and you come with us telling your life good bye..

[Asolvip]

" one day I'll get my lover"

I'm so mad
I can't even raise my head
I was serious and I didn't pretend
But now I feel like I'm dead
Then you come and ask me:why you are sad?
I hate being such a fool
My life was stupid but so cool
Now I can't feel myself anymore
I'm lost in a world to get out of, I'm not sure
A dark tearful world hidden by colorful happy cover
I'm sure that I will suffer
But one day i'll get my lover

[Asolvip]

"best friends"
In my sad moments I cry, I need my friends to get by
My situation is getting worst
I wish they could hear me
I did wrong; I want them to understand me
I want to apologize if they would forgive me
I wish the winds blow and spread those clouds
Then the shining sun takes away all those sorrows
I don't have to worry, because my *friends are coming back to me
And they will spend a happy time with me
My situation will get better
Because they will be with me forever

[Asolvip]

"I'll forget you"
When the sad music flows, I think of you
You are so cruel, why can't I erase you?
What did I do? I was stupid to fall for you
I was blind because you trampled on my eyes harshly
I don't want to cry, but my heart's been ripped so deeply
My heart is so cold now and it's about to drown
In those sad tearful memories
I'm sick and tired of those love stories
But when this bitter music stops I'll let you go
Then I'll forget you, I'm sure and I know

[.kiki]

nice laguag.e, I like the way you describe the whole thing, it makes it easy to imagine, easy to feel the same, such a powerful talent... I wonder if you could try using it describing maybe some lighter moods, brighter feelings?i

thanks for sharing

PS: hold yourself up, and remember that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... the secret is to never go back

[Asolvip]

Of course , I'll try to write sth more happy and bright ..... Soooon
Well thank you for your nice words , it made me more courageous and pushed le to be initiative in my work

[Karim-Rap-4-Life]

hey I liked that pieces of poems so much they're so great I'm sure you're going to develop it more than this I noticed that you play with the rhymes in very nice way
PS: make sure that your lines are similar in length it's not necessary but this way u feel the rhymes are paralleled give much regular tempo reading them


Keep it up

[Asolvip]

Thank you and about PS , I don't give much attention to the length , I try to write like a short story in a poem ... And I'll know more about poetry next year I'm an english student , I knew some bout it this year and I'll study it deeply
Thx for the advice !
My bro you're the best
I'll write some and leave for you the rest
I'm just trying to be funny , it's not a serious test
So my bro , keep it up high
catch my rhymes and try to fly
You are on earth but you can reach the sky
Cuz when you read my words , you will cry
You'll feel sad but you won't die
Because at the end a small light will open your heart
And let your mind fall apart
You will be crazy but u won't be lazy
Hhhh hope u like it

[Karim-Rap-4-Life]

haha I liked them so much
about the ps: I meant the length of the lines not the poem read it again ^^ catch u later

[Asolvip]

I couldnt get it about the length of the lines ... Well you mean that in a poem I must have like over 20 line?
Or u mean that : the number of lines in each poem have to be the same ?!
Or the number of words in each line have to be the same ?
I think it's the 3rd answer .. Right?!
Like when you say :
I've deleted the scars of my sadness
I've drawn the smiles of my happiness
I no wanna see those traces of darkness
I'm gonna crash them with my brightness
I'm the new me, the girl that shined and she'll always be
Well this is kinda song Hhhhh I just thought of it ... We can sing together I guess , u do the rapping part and I do the slow one
I don't know so much about singing but I'll add u in skyrock so u can send me msgs then if u liked the idea we can write something together and publish it here to our friends :)

[Karim-Rap-4-Life]

yes I mean the third one if lines are equal it will be so nice but it's not important i just propose it for you and you're free of course and about writing I just feel lazy to write again i still got two poems to write but they're left like they're since a long time ago and singing i just don't like to sing anymore your idea is so great but I can't even if I sing I leave em home no body could listen to them so all i can say is sorry i can't help.

[Karim-Rap-4-Life]

read this it may helps

http://www.djelfa.info/vb/showthread.php?t=816851

[Asolvip]

Owh ! It's ok then ... And about the link u gave me , it is the same lesson we studied this year in the module of literature ! So I got the experience but I need to study poetry deeply ! My teacher is helping me hehe :)

[Karim-Rap-4-Life]

aaaaaaaahaaah so you are telling me that I can teach in university hehehe kidding around
emm u have to study poetry if you tend to be a great poet in the future coz it's a must to learn and earn experience from reading poetry
and a remark for you i think you should read this concerning the link of your blog
Important for english forum members (http://www.djelfa.info/vb/announcement.php?f=204&a=393)

[Asolvip]

Ok , I'll try to take a look... About studying poetry I'll try but I know I have no chance to be a poet in Algeria Hhhhhh ESP in English ... And thx a lot.. It's sure u can be a teacher in university Hhhh our teacher are older than us with 3years only they have no experience. But they to show themselves

[♫ وهج الأمـل ♫]

Great pieces as usual Biba ...
Like 'em .. move on and never stop sweety
SEE YA LATER

[Asolvip]

Sweetie I truly missed you... I'll be very active right here... Well see you soon my sunshine :)
You are the best girl ever $$$$